Success Stories

Daniel's Story

I was eleven years old, and this woman was screaming at me down the street, “you’re stupid, worthless, that’s why i gave your ass up.” That was my first interaction with my biological mom. My mind was spinning as I raced home to confront my ‘mom’. That’s when my world fell apart, and my life began to spin out of control.

I learned that this woman who confronted me on the street was the woman who gave birth to me and my brother and sister. They both knew all of this, but had kept it a secret from me. I was born addicted to drugs. We were all taken from her when Social Services came in to find the house in shambles, our clothes dirty and unchanged; and we had apparently been picking through the garbage for food. I don't recall any of this, thankfully.

I was having trouble in school to begin with; I was picked on all the time because I was in Special Education classes, but, once I learned the truth, things got much worse. I was angry all the time, and I couldn't control my feelings. When I made it to school, I got into a lot of fights. I even got in fights with my teachers; I just wanted to be left alone. I knew what people thought about me. I just didn't care anymore.

PINS sent me to The House of the Good Shepherd last year which made me even angrier. I hated it, hated the people and hated being out of my home. I didn't want to do anything, or listen to anyone. It made me feel better to fight so I kept doing just that. I became the person everyone thought I was a bad kid.

Then, during one of my meetings with my therapist, she asked if I might be interested in taking a dance class. I thought it would be better than just staying in my room, so I signed up. What did I have to lose? My first class was Musical Theater. I was scared at first and didn't want to cooperate so much, but the more I participated the more I liked it! I was good at it too! I would practice all the time, and for some reason it helped me feel better; it helped me get my anger out. Something changed in me. I don't know for sure what it was, but I felt different. My first performance was awesome!!! People stood up and clapped, and I was so happy! I knew I did a great job, and then lots of people came up to me after and told me how well I did!!

But, through a lot of therapy and with the help of dance I see that some things are out of my control, like my past but, what I do have control over is the present and the future. I can control my anger. I can be something in life. I am even taking classes for Hotel and Restaurant Management, and one day I want to become a baker. I wish everyone could see me now and see that it is possible to change.

Jill's Story

The floor was a trash bin and our clothes rarely washed, we had no running water. You can’t imagine the conditions we lived in; the house was so filthy that I could never invite anyone over. My parents are different. They couldn’t keep up with all 10 of us. Being one of the oldest, I wondered why they kept having more kids. I was so embarrassed and felt so disgusted that this was my family.

My father is in prison now because someone finally found out what was going on in our house. Growing up with things like this, I actually thought it was normal, now I know differently. My father had been molesting all of us since I can remember. At night I could hear his footsteps coming my way, and I would curl up and try to hide in hopes it wouldn't be me tonight. He would creep into my bed, and I was forced to do things to him. Over time our house got out of control. My brothers began doing things to my younger sisters, and it became a vicious circle; I never felt safe in my house. I recall my father telling me that when I was ready to get my period it would be time for me to start having kids too. I was twelve when this happened, and I hid it as best as I could and fought him off as much as possible. I often wonder how my sisters felt, although we never talked about it. I knew they must have been in as much pain as I was. Life was full of ugliness to me. I found a way to stuff my feelings away, far away so that maybe it could be okay to live in my body.

Once my family was found out, things began to happen quickly. I'm actually not sure how it all happened; all of it is just rumors around town. But, one day all ten of us were removed from our house and put in foster care. We were separated and very scared. See even though my life was horrible, it was the only one I knew. When I got to my first foster family, I couldn't help but wonder if this man was going to hurt me too. Every night I would lie in bed afraid he may come in too. Thankfully, that never happened but I didn't feel comfortable for a long time. My new family didn't give up on me though, and the staff at The House kept helping me to cope with what I had been through. It is going to be a long time until I'm okay; but I am safe now, and I see a new life of new possibilities that I couldn't have seen before I left my other life behind.

Laura's Story

I had always wondered about the scars all over my body. But it wasn’t until I was older that I finally found that I got all of them in my first year of life. I am now in foster care and live with a great family. Thankfully, I do not remember what happened to me as a child but throughout the years I have uncovered the truth after talking to my foster parents and reading through my files.

My mother used to slap me hard when I did something that was wrong or annoyed her. In one of the pieces of paper that I have, it recalls my father saying that my mom hit me repeatedly because I wouldn't stop crying. Another time, she had been caught by my grandmother shaking me repeatedly because I was crying; my grandmother had warned her to stop, because it was causing my neck to violently swing side-to-side. But she continued to do it. Later that month, she apparently "accidently" dropped me causing me to have a seizure, and I was rushed to the hospital. Even though the doctors said I had a serious blow to the head they found no damage to the brain or skull. The following week I had another "fall", and this time, the doctors found that I had suffered a subdural hemorrhage. I had to have my head drained of the fluid, and they had to shave my hair. It caused a large scar on my head. Apparently, I had bruises all over my head, legs, arms, and stomach and scars on my legs which my mother could not tell how I received them.

Children and Family Services temporarily removed me from my house but were unable to find evidence to prove that my mother had been the cause of these wounds, so I was placed back with them.

My sister was born shortly after this, and she was put in the "at risk" list. A week later, my parents were visited by a couple of Social Workers so that they could see how they were with me and my sister. The results were bad, and I was taken from them. My sister was left with them temporarily, but it wasnít long until she was taken from them as well.

Thankfully, we were both put into Foster Care, and we are both much better off now. Due to my hemorrhages, I suffered brain damage, and it has taken me a lot longer to read and write; and I have occasional seizures. Learning of the details of my abuse has been traumatizing for me but knowing that I have a safe place to live now and that my sister did not have to endure this same abuse make me feel better. I don't know where I would be if it wasnít for The House of the Good Shepherd.

"I never thought I would make it this far..."

Jason is an alum, who contacted us to share his story. He hopes it will motivate children at The House and let them know they can change their lives.

"I first came into HGS in 1995 when I was 12 years old. Almost right after my birthday. I was scared and didn't know what to do. Some of the workers were nice and some were mean. I hated life. I thought all the workers looked at me like I was bad person. I was misbehaving and caused a lot of trouble. I had a case worker who helped me get through my problems. I had child care workers there to help me too. A lot of people were nice to me and I thought that I would never leave that place. I changed my attitude and things went better for me. I realized that the people were there to help me and not hurt me and I started taking their advice on life.

"I left The House at the age of 18 and joined the Job Corps to become a cook. After I left Job Corp I went to my hometown to see if I could work things out with my mom. While that was happening I went back to high school at the age of 19. I went to high school and received my high school diploma. After I graduated I went to be a cook at many places. I took a major turn in Life when I decided that I wanted to join the United Sates Marine Corp. I still am in the Marine Corps at age 25, and everyday I look back from where I came from.

"I never thought I would make it this far. I took the advice from the staff there and kept my head straight because they know best. The only advice that I can give to those young individuals out there is, If you think life is bad, pick your head up and keep going. Nothing can hold you back to succeed. It's all in what you want to do with yourself and the effort you put into it. The workers there are there to help you, not harm you. I understand that sometimes it may feel like it, but it's not."

-Jason

Who Knows Where I Would Be...

"I was in HGS in 1999. While I was there I gave the staff a very hard time. I was very young, and I did not want to hear with they had to say, but as I got older I realized that they cared about me, and only wanted the best for me. HGS really helped me. I am very thankful to all of the people who worked with me and took the time to care.

I am 21 years old now. I went and got my GED. I meet a man who cares and loves me. And one day I hope soon we will get married. And that's all thanks to you guys. If I was not there I would have been running the streets and who knows where I would be. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."

Christy

An Alum Says Thank You

We recently received the following email from a young lady who was in our care. It demonstrates how The House changed her life.

"Hello, God it has been a long time. I was there at HGS 3 years ago. It’s crazy how long ago I was there. Many stories and memories took place there. Many times of anger and frustration, times of hurt and emotional stress.

I realize that through all of this I gained inner strength and trust to those who want to help. Now thanks to all of the guidance and support, I am getting adopted. I am officially discharged from Randolph Children’s Home and living with my wonderful mom. I want to say thank you to those have helped me out. I greatly appreciate this! I love you all!"

Love
Alicia

Family Means Everything

Steve is just one child whose life has been changed at The House. Steve, who is now 13 years old, has lived with a foster family since he was 5. He is unable to return home to his parents.

This summer, Steve attended a summer camp at Utica’s Parkway Recreation Center. For Steve, it will be a summer he will always remember. He made friends, learned new games, and went on exciting and educational trips.

Here’s what Steve had to say about his experience:

Mark's First Glimpse of Hope

Mark was 10 years old when he was referred to The House of the Good Shepherd last June. His mother was in and out of rehab and gone. He lived with his father. He was afraid to learn and afraid to play. Mark didn’t know the alphabet when he first walked into our Tilton School library. But he would seek out Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone, open the big book, and just stare at the pages pretending to read. He didn’t want to admit to anyone that he couldn’t read.

Past trauma left Mark with a strong conviction that he would never be good at anything. He struggled to find meaning in the shapes that children half his age recognized. He was frustrated and ashamed. He would throw books and sometimes say that he was just too stupid to learn. It was heartbreaking to watch.

Despite setbacks, Mark would still come to the library everyday and look at the Harry Potter book.

After several months, our staff began to gain Mark’s trust. He didn’t need to let his shame and anger block his learning. Slowly he learned. Our school staff encouraged Mark and gave him books that would support his initial success. Child Care Workers read to Mark. In treatment sessions, our therapists worked to remove the emotional stumbling blocks that were convincing Mark that he would never learn.

The turning point came when Mark went to the library and could read words in the level books for the first time. His teacher said that discovery gave Mark “the first glimpse of hope” that she had seen. He stopped throwing books and started reading them.

Mark’s teacher recalled the day Mark read his first book. Some people might say that Mark learned to read. But anyone who knew him saw that he left his old world behind. Now Mark comes to the library and is eager to read. He wants the librarian to order his favorite book The Pigeon Finds the Hotdog. Imagine just six months ago he couldn’t decipher the alphabet.

Friends of the Children gave Mark the chance to change his life. Friends of the Children gifts provided the books, the student desk, the bed, and the recreational fields so Mark, and many children like him, can reclaim their lives. Without Friends of the Children gifts, children at The House will not have the resources they need.