I couldn't understand what was happening to me. I was only six years old and terrified to go to bed each night. Finally, I understood, but I kept the fact that I was sexually abused by my older brother bottled up inside for what seemed like an eternity. I was angry. I was so ashamed. This didn't happen to other kids. Why was this happening to me? Finally, when I couldn't get rid of the pain, I tried to get rid of me. When I attempted suicide, I knew - and everyone else knew - that I needed help. I was fifteen and I took a bunch of pills to make the pain go away. I woke up in the hospital and was sent to a rehabilitation center right from the hospital. When things didn't change and I remained depressed, my mom turned to the county to get help. That's when things started to turn around. That's when I went to The House.
There, they expected me to talk about my problem. How could I? I could barely admit it to myself. In my experience, talking about my problems only led to more pain. So I kept to myself, except when I wrote. What I wrote was very dark, but it helped me release some of the awful feelings I had. I was really surprised when I came to The House that they encouraged me to keep writing. Even though they didn't say they liked what I wrote about, they said they saw potential in my ability and that I was talented. I was shocked. No one had ever complimented me like that.
The staff at The House began working with me and helping me to see that I was good at something, and that made me feel good about myself. Little by little, I told them about my past. I told them how lost I felt when my father abandoned me. I told them how shameful I felt when my brother abused me. They helped me to see that I could be something great in spite of all this. I could rise above the anger and hurt and I could have a new life that I created.
I see worth in myself and my family that I never imagined possible. I was sent home to live with my mom again. We are doing great! I am not angry anymore and I love to help out. My little brother looks up to me and I want to be a good role model for him. I still go to therapy and so does my older brother. I learned that he was sexually abused as well. I know that it's never okay to hurt someone like this, but I'm working on forgiving him. I'm glad that I came to The House. They helped me realize that I can trust, I can be happy and that my past doesn't dictate my future. I know that I have potential and I can achieve something. I understand all of this because of The House.